Sunday, May 30, 2010

Fearing to Fail


This past week I had a conversation with a friend and read a couple articles dealing with failure and the fear of failure and I thought, “I’ve never been afraid of failure.” Now, I’m not saying I’m not afraid of anything, because I do have my fears, but failure is not one of them. In my early years of high school I didn’t have set goals for college and my future. Later in High school I determined which university I wanted to go to and what I wanted to pursue. I don’t think I ever once thought about failure. Even now, as I am rethinking my life and pondering what direction I should go, I do not fear failure. So that got me thinking further, “Am I being cocky? Why couldn’t I end up failing miserably? Why am I not afraid?” I guess this seems like a strange thing to think about, but it really got me going. I think it could have something to do with my wild imagination and unrelenting, sometimes annoying optimism. I imagine the different scenarios and no matter what happens I know that I could make it fun and exciting, and I know that I could change things if I wanted or if necessary. It could also have to do with the fact that I have no wealth hoarded up or expectations that I feel pinned to. But, I came to some sort of conclusion that I don’t fear failure because I don’t really need to. I’m not going to fail. This may sound a little too self-confident, and maybe a bit on the cocky side, and maybe it is, but it’s true. I have amazing parents and amazing family and friends for that matter who will stop at nothing to support me. They believe in me, they believe that I will choose the right path and that I will succeed in whatever I do. Why do they believe I will succeed? I suppose for the same reasons that I know I will not fail. I’ve got God on my side. Even when I do fail, it’s just like falling and scraping my knee. I get back up and keep going, knowing that my God is already healing my wounds and carrying my heavy baggage. If God calls and God empowers and God loves, seriously—how can I fail? I can’t. Now I do fear other things like not following God’s leading or ending up with a job that I hate or a marriage that has more downs than ups. But, with all this, I know the end result will be good—it will be more than good.  God has a purpose, He has a calling, and while I may be in a wandering and questioning sort of state I know that I will fall upon His best in His timing. I will not, I cannot fail.

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