Friday, March 19, 2010

A Life Worth Living


This week has flown by. I wish I could describe all the havoc that has gone on and all the crazy stuff that has come my way these past few days, but words cannot do them justice at this point. As I write this I am listening to heavy rain drops colliding with this old Soviet building that I am calling “home”. The tip of my left pointer finger is numb and bandaged. We had some frozen French fries tonight—they were really good. But while trying to open the package with a sharpened butter knife I cut deep through my finger. I know it sounds stupid seeing that it was a butter knife, but remember I said it had been sharpened. It hurt terribly at first and there was quite a bit of blood, but some cold water and a lot of pressure stopped the bleeding in no time. Some antibiotic cream, a band-aid, and next thing you know everything was made fine. I’m pretty sure I cut into a nerve because I have very little feeling in my finger tip; something I am actually grateful for at the moment because for the little time I did have feeling it was nothing but pain and soreness. The finger and the heavy rain have hardly made an impact in the week. They are, as we say in level 2, "icing on the cake." Despite the troubles of this week, or perhaps because of the troubles of this week, I feel strongly that God is alive and present in my life. Something is looking out for me, and I’m glad I know this Something. Despite the horrible fragility of life, the constant danger that lurks in every darkness, the deep pits of uncertainty, the challenges and struggles that so often feel in vain, the blood that seeps from deep wounds, the worry that flies through the restless head, despite all this—I have a big smile on my face. It’s one of those smiles that I cannot explain, a smile that is genuine, that feels as though it comes from nowhere. It may sound stupid and it probably is, but I’m happy tonight. I have plenty of reasons to be miserable, to be angry even, but I think I’ll stick with the smile. Today, I choose the peace that Jesus gives. Today, I choose the joy that stems from a love deeper than any bottomless pit. Today, I choose a life worth living.

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